End of the life in UK

Why can't everything just go on smoothly this year. First the result, second the visa. Both crucial in determine my future. What on earth did I do, to get this punishment? Am I that bad luck or am I not having the life living in the UK.
Did I do something wrong, or did I being too careless during the application and the submission.
If true that I don't get to stay back in the UK anymore, and if true that I got black listed and not able to come back to UK for 10 years, what more can I do?
To be honest to myself, I don't really hope to get a job in Malaysia and just stay there, God please help me can You? Please let me go through this just like how you made me go through with my assignment. Please God let me stay back in UK and create a good life here can You.
Please don't punish me for what I done, please forgive me if I do wrong. Please let me have a life to stay in UK and continue to earn and learn in order to be able to make mummy and daddy proud.
Please help me, please help me in making both my parents proud and not disappointment, I know I'm not a perfect person which my parents would want me to be, but at least let me stay to prove to them I could be good in some other part too.

Please God! Help me this time again. Please

Thank you.

09/11/2012

Wondering around the same question for over and over again. But got nothing out of it. Am I just being desperate or is it really what I feel is really what I feel? What a nonsense question. Why should it be so confusing when it's only really a yes or no answer.
Always telling myself, it depends, everything come and everything go. If it stops, then it's what you may consider. But is it stopping? The worst feelings ever!
Sometimes I really do hope I can feel nothing, and know nothing.

Stressful with work, stressful with feelings, when can this stop and come to an end?
I wonder.

Angie.

The Process

Well, I guess this would be the first and will the last time for You to higher up your tone on me. Though may not be considered as a scolding but I promise myself this will and will never ever happen again. Not because I quit nor because I get fired but cause I will do the best out of me!
Yes Angie Chong! be motivated, be positive! Accept this, it's your first time and will be the last to accept this kind of tone. Get the best out of you! You know you can do it!
Don't be sad cause what had happened, but accept what had happened and change it!
Promise yourself , I will never gonna hear that kind of tone from you anymore BOSS!
That's the last thing I would want in my whole life!

Regards,

Angie

The Falling

Am I falling for something that I should not fall for? 
Am I afraid? I'm starting to doubt about myself now.  Can't be sure of it and it's making me suffocating in the heart. 
I know I have much more bigger stuffs to worry about but i just couldn't hold it. Thou knowing even if I'm clear about that feelings, but still I need to let it go. 
I really do hope, you will just be another passer-by, cause I don't have the strength and will to hold it high.
Let it be another sigh, rather to be another suffering life. 

我的歌声里 - 曲婉婷

没有一点点防备，也没有一丝顾虑
你就这样出现在我的世界里，带给我惊喜，情不自已
可是你偏又这样，在我不知不觉中
悄悄的消失，从我的世界里，没有音讯，剩下的只是回忆 

你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里
你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里

还记得我们曾经，肩并肩一起走过，那段繁华巷口
尽管你我是陌生人，是过路人，但彼此还是感觉到了对方的
一个眼神，一个心跳....
一种意想不到的快乐，好像是
一场梦境，命中注定 

你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里
你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里

世界之大为何我们相遇
难道是缘分
难道是天意...

你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里
你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里
你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里

'Been repeating this song for like more than ten times, lyrics that allow me to reminisce the time I had with one of the friend in secondary, which surprisingly the memories still remain.'

Never Better

Grey clouds covering every surface of the sky. This made my day gloomier than ever. For quite awhile sitting here pondering should I even start writing this. For quite sometimes, I have been missing in action. Leaving the blog which once I leave lots of memories.

Deleted all of it, never going to look back the past. 

Starting my new life as a 'young lady', going to get my first official pot of gold. A bit of excitement maybe. Almost a month I work, not fancy working life but not hating it either. Boring will be the only word to describe, but still isn't a big matter after all. 

Working from home and what more could I ask for. 

Actually many things happened, but who knows I went through it and I'm happy now. Those supported me I really should thank them for the advice and the hold me up when I'm down. 

Words just couldn't describe what I gone through, only me myself know that feelings deep inside.

''when one door shuts another one opens''

Love.