一次又一次的相信得来的却是欺骗

选择相信却是欺骗。
心以渐渐变淡,但还是喜欢。
很矛盾的自己。

19 August 2014, the day and would be the last that you will appear in my life.

Letting it go completely is just a lie,
Never once you will have your time for me. It would be either sorry I'm working, battery left 4% etc. Etc. Never that I don't believe but I am blaming my luck for not letting me to have the opportunity to have a good conversation with you.

It's done, the heart will never recover from all these. I'm starting to think I'm an idiot to believe the clean and clear statement. What you said and what you do are two different things. Never blame you, is your choice but just don't get it why you wanna lie. I am able to accept the fact of love and no love can't be forced. But lies are unbearable.

Shoutout to myself, let it go. You are not meant to be. Scrap her off your life. It's all very clear now. But before leaving,  would still pray for her to be safe be healthy and be happy in her life.

GOODBYE my once love. C

Regard,
Gie

Till then, I'm letting you go now, ALL

Never know that answer actually given such an impact.

It still hurt, the wound still there. 

But I know it is very clear now, no use dragging. 

I shall wake up from my dream starting from now.

It's better to know the truth rather than lie.

Very well glad. 

Aching but this will be temporary.

Bye my Love, till then. Take care.

我真的爱了吗

终于把《爱在泉城》两天内读完

故事里说着拥有记忆是幸福的，

也因这记忆而痛苦。

但总比失忆好。

而且爱就只爱一次。

你我的回忆又一幕一幕的上演

都已过了三年，

你有了你的生活和依靠，

我也有了我的生活和工作，

回国见了你才明白原来那份情还在

只是三年里

因时间，因习惯，因环境，因少了联络，

我们都变成了熟悉的陌生人

“ 经得起等待的爱情，才是真正的爱情 ”

我真的爱了吗？

也许我们那时的爱情只是一时的冲动和好奇。

Busy Messy Mind

What have I got myself into?
Mind is a mess.
Will I be blamed for that contract and visa issued.
Or will I be fired from the company and be accused of all these wrongdoing.
Can I trust all these?
It is so dark in this society, even when the person that you think you can trust actually you doubt on them.
Or is it just me thinking too much with my negative force playing with me.
I need to plan myself a future, no morw fooling and got distracted by some feelings that I could never achieve.
Be tough, mind my own business and butt before anything happen.

You will be blessed Angie with all the goods that you have done, and you always have your family. Believe and have faith,  everything will be fine just like always.

Out of Tempo

After the meet up, after that gather, asking myself, is she still there.

Thinking that, it may just be a fling after these 3 long years.

But not knowing it actually have that 'wow' impact.

Diagnose with  the symptom of losing the sense of direction for my future.

As trying to grab the one thing that was never mine.

Knowing the success rate would be 0%

But still it is irresistible.

Act as if it will be fine, running every weekend down South to the luxury city to avoid.

With no avail, it still fail after a month.

Still actually waiting for that special someone text even after these years.

Life kept going and not sure whether it's right or wrong

It's been a while now, a year of getting out from University and student life, keeping myself busy and buried among the documents and invoices, not to forget the phone calls and follow up. What am I getting myself into, I'm not sure.

People starts asking me, will you be in the UK for the rest of your life if you got the chance? What is your future plan now? Honestly, I don't know. It's a bit emotional, to be understood that I don't even know what I want yet. Guess I should really set a target or any goal for myself?

Be truthful, me don't like to a person on a static ground, going around would be what I preferred. Going around expanding the company while exploring each places would be fun. But will I have that opportunity?
Let just see.

Well, working really do make a person lost their patience and I am almost one of them, sometimes just felt like the fire are already on top of your head and will just came pouring out if the boss kept saying. And a good slap will just do the thing, but still you are just the employee, know where you stand and where you should not.

Do really hope it could be 'All is Well', the usual sentence that came out when anyone asked, 'How are you'

*fingercross* With whatever the future awaits.

Cheers

End of the life in UK

Why can't everything just go on smoothly this year. First the result, second the visa. Both crucial in determine my future. What on earth did I do, to get this punishment? Am I that bad luck or am I not having the life living in the UK.
Did I do something wrong, or did I being too careless during the application and the submission.
If true that I don't get to stay back in the UK anymore, and if true that I got black listed and not able to come back to UK for 10 years, what more can I do?
To be honest to myself, I don't really hope to get a job in Malaysia and just stay there, God please help me can You? Please let me go through this just like how you made me go through with my assignment. Please God let me stay back in UK and create a good life here can You.
Please don't punish me for what I done, please forgive me if I do wrong. Please let me have a life to stay in UK and continue to earn and learn in order to be able to make mummy and daddy proud.
Please help me, please help me in making both my parents proud and not disappointment, I know I'm not a perfect person which my parents would want me to be, but at least let me stay to prove to them I could be good in some other part too.

Please God! Help me this time again. Please

Thank you.